Popple and Crump: The Magnificent Heist!
by TheSlimyOne
Summary: A certain Legendary Shadow Thief receives a letter from a foreign crook who is organizing a group of criminals for the heist of a lifetime. Dragging his new rookie along, Popple sets out for the Moonbeam Kingdom where drama, adventure, and of course loads of money await!
1. Chapter 1: Popple and Rookie Ride Again!

**Popple and Crump: The Magnificent Heist**

Chapter 1: Popple and Rookie Ride Again!

As many a Mushroom Kingdom native would know, Rogueport is stuffed to the gills with problems. For some, it's the fact that most of the city looks terrible: with it's dreary rocky sidewalks and walls contaminated by litter and graffiti. For others, it's the constant fear of being sucked into the on-going gang war between the Pianta Syndicate and The Robbos. And of course, there's the fact that the city is stuffed to the brim with unsavory types: thieves, swindlers, cut-throats, and people who are just plain rude! But for others, Rogueport is a land of opportunity if your moral compass is murkier than the local water. For people like Popple the self-proclaimed Legendary Shadow Thief, the influx of unsavory types was a breeding grounds for grand opportunities like this one.

"Hey bartender, gimme another round of Chuckola Cola or else I'm gonna die of thirst, see!" Popple demanded, slamming his fist on the wooden table at the far end of the inn's barroom.

"Yessir, coming right over." Podley the Beanish bartender replied, staring up from the glass he was polishing. As he fumbled around for the bottle of the legendary soda, Popple leaned back in his chair and stretched, suppressing a yawn as he stared out the window. _'Cripes, this guy has one heck of a tardiness problem! I better not have screwed up by hiring this so-called "mechanical genius!'_

"Your drink, sir." Podley announced, walking over with the bottle and pouring a healthy amount into Popple's glass.

"Well thank you, mister! Y'know, the people of Rogueport are a heck of a lot nicer than others give'em credit for, y'know what I'm saying?" Popple asked as he grabbed his glass and downed a good amount of it, the wonderfully bold berry flavor tickling his taste-buds with it's fizziness as it poured down his throat.

"I appreciate the kind words, sir. If you need anymore, I'll be at the bar polishing more glasses..." And with that, Podley left Popple to finish his drink in peace and quiet. He glanced out the window for what was probably the fiftieth time this evening, and saw a rather portly looking fellow heading for the bar. _'Well finally! I thought that old fatty here would never show up at this rate!' _Popple thought as his hired help barged through the door, stumbling clumsily in as he looked around, the thick goggles he was wearing conveying a sort of clumsy emptiness in his head.

"Hey people, LISTEN UP!" the fat man roared into the bar, getting the attention of the local thieves and sailors who were trying to drink away their problems for the night as they stared at him. Popple cringed at this display of stupidity, HE was supposed to be his new rookie? Not only did he stick out like a sore thumb thanks to his red cape and odd black outfit emblazoned with a large X on the front, but his thick goggles and purple hat just barely suppressing a pair of horns helped the guy stand out even more in a crowd, as opposed to the scrawny, unremarkable Beanish Popple who tended to blend in with crowds. "I'm told that a certain Legendary Shadow Thief wants to see me because he values my genius, and is waiting for me in this dingy little bar! So you're gonna tell ol' Crump here where he is, or he's bringing the pain!"

"Oh, Popple?" a sneaky little Mouser squeaked from the bar, "He's over there."

"Oh, thanks! And uh, POW! I'm out!" Crump said as he headed over to Popple's table, pulling up a chair as he sat, causing the ancient seat to creak under his girth.

"So I take it you're this Lord Crump my informant told me about, eh?" Popple asked as Crump nodded enthusiastically!

"Buh huh huh, that's right!" Lord Crump guffawed, "The second-in-command of the X-Naut army himself graces your presence... well, the former second-in-command at least."

"X-Nauts? Never heard of 'em." Popple yawned as Crump's eyes widened from under his thick goggles.

"Never heard of us? Man, were you born yesterday or something? The X-Nauts were only the biggest, baddest gang in the Mushroom Kingdom! Hey, bartender!"

"Yes?" Podley asked, not looking up from polishing a plate.

"You've heard of the X-Nauts right?"

"Nope. Can't say I have."

"WHAT?! Oh for the love of-"

"Will you be quiet you big moron?!" Popple hissed as he clamped his hand over where he assumed Crump's mouth was, "Is subtlety a lost art on ya? Huh?"

"Sorry." Crump sighed as Popple shook his head.

"Man alive, I hope my informant made the right choice in getting in contact with you, ya fat lug! So anyway, I take it you know why you're here, eh?"

"Well, I was told that you needed my amazing technological skills and combat prowess, eh?" Crump boasted, flexing an arm muscle as Popple rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I did. But I take it you didn't know the REAL reason I had you haul your fat butt over here, eh?"

"Well if there's some other reason, it's lost on me, bub!" Crump shrugged as Popple reached into his pants pocket, pulling out a fancy looking envelope and two tickets. He removed a fancy looking letter from the envelope, and placed it on the table in front of Crump.

"Well fatty, I'm sure even you've heard tales about the many heists and capers that I've pulled off over the years! After all, I'm quite famous in criminal circles across the globe, see?"

"Well, before that Bandit pal of yours got in contact with me, I had never heard of you, bub!"

"I imagine you're not the type to get caught up with your current events, eh? Well never mind, at least my exploits got SOMEONE'S attention, 'cause I've got this letter over here, see?" Clearing his throat, Popple picked up the envelope and began to read it out loud.

"Greetings and Salutations, my little Beanish friend! If you have come in possession of this letter, it means that you have been deemed worthy enough to register as a blip on my radar! As you see, I am a notorious thief over in my home country the Moonbeam Kingdom! Let me tell you, it is the most beautiful place in this planet with it's old-timey architecture, natural beauty, famous lunar views... and of course, it is home to all sorts of riches, treasures, and things just ripe for the taking! So let me ask you this, oh Popple the Legendary Shadow Thief, from a criminal to his fellow, would you be interested in a little... event I'm cooking up? I do not wish to spell it out exactly since for all I know, this letter could be seen by the wrong people and thus land us both in a heap of trouble! So in a month's time, come seek me out over in the humble port of Half-Moon Harbor in the Moonbeam Kingdom, I will be waiting in the local tavern known as the 3-Up Moon with my fellow conspirators. Enclosed with this letter will be two tickets for a boat ride to the Moonbeam Kingdom, one for you and one for your partner in crime as I have known that you are often in the company of a "Rookie" of sorts. I hope you seize this opportunity, because it would be an honor to meet you and it is always a shame when people fail to answer the door when opportunity comes knocking! Cordially Yours, The Gentleman Rogue!"

"Oh boy," Crump snorted, "This guy sounds like a real pretentious dweeb, don't you think? I mean, what kind of guy calls himself "The Gentleman Thief" if they're not some pretentious snob?"

"That's not the point! The point is, I've got two tickets for a boat ride to this Moonbeam Kingdom place, and I'm in desperate need of a Rookie to tag along with me, see?"

"Oh man, you're actually inviting me to go this thing with you? Whoo hoo!" Crump bellowed as he bounced out of his chair and did a happy dance that caused the floor to tremble. Popple's eyes widened, mortified at this ghastly sight before him.

"CUT IT OUT!" Popple roared as Crump stopped his merry jig, wishing he could either beat Crump to a pulp, have the earth swallow him up and save him from this embarrassment, or a mix of both, really."If you keep on drawing attention to yourself like that, you're not only gonna miss out on the honor of being my Rookie, but I'll also knock your block off, see?!"

"Sorry Popple." Crump sighed as he plopped down onto his seat, "I just never get invited to anything, I think it's really cool that you want me to come along!" Popple shrugged as he downed another mouthful of Chuckola Cola.

"Well, I need a new Rookie anyway so why not take you along, see? I mean you've got the brawn, I've got the brains, we'll be two indestructible peas in a pod, see? So you golden?"

"Totally! I mean, I totally need a place to run off to now that I've kinda had my last chance with Grodus!" laughed Crump.

"Grodus? He was your boss, right?"

"Yeah! He was the leader of the X-Nauts, a real nasty guy with a mean streak a mile wide! You see, he wanted to find these Crystal Stars so he could resurrect an ancient demon thing so he could take over the world, you know? Problem was, that demon didn't really take too kindly to him ordering her around, so she zapped him and BOOM! Headless! Don't worry though, he got better-"

"Get to the point, ya blabbermouth!" Popple hissed, wishing he never asked Crump about Grodus.

"Oh, sorry. Well, I've been taking care of him along with a few other X-Nauts that survived our base getting blown up, and... well, I kept screwing things up: I would regularly drop him, spill food on him, drench him in water during cleaning sessions... he kinda had it up to here with me and sent me out on my butt. But you know what? I'm glad I get to start over with you!" Crump explained, giggling a bit nervously when he saw Popple's mouth twist into a frown.

"So let me get this straight, you kept screwing up, so your boss gave you the boot? And I'm supposed to be dragging you around as my rookie?"

"Uh... yeah? Whoa, don't look at me like that!" Crump hollered as Popple balled up his fist, "You fired me because I'm a good fighter and technician, right? Look, I can prove myself to you, I'm done with screwing up! Honest!" Popple lowered his fist and turned his yellow eyes skyward to reflect on this.

"Well, I'm a pretty good in a scrap if I do say so myself! But I'm more of a skinny beanpole, while you're a big lug with some pretty mean looking guns, you could really save our necks if we got caught by the fuzz and forced into a fight. And uh, you said you're a technician, eh?"

Yep!" Crump replied cheerfully, "I made not one, but TWO awesome fighting robots, I made a powerful bomb called the Superbobomb, and I even made our security system!"

"Hmm... well, if my informant thought you would be what I needed when he went scouting and his word matches up with your... oh fine, you're tagging along, okay?" Popple sighed, deciding that a dim-witted yet powerful and tech-savvy Rookie was better than none.

"OH BOY! Man oh man, you won't regret this Popple! Crump squealed with joy, bouncing up and down in his seat before it gave out and crumpled beneath him, drawing everyone's attention to their table while Crump scrambled back up. "I'm okay guys, I'm okay!"

"I think I'm already regretting this." Popple sighed as he stared down at his now-empty glass. "Hey bartender, gimme a refill! I'm going to have to drink away the pain of having this headache tagging along..."

"Coming, sir." Podley said as he grabbed the bottle of Chuckola Cola.

"So Popple-"

"Alright Crump, if you're going to be my rookie, you're going to have to call me boss, got it?" Popple snapped as Podley refilled his glass, taking a swig of the wonderful drink.

"Sorry there boss! So uh, when do we leave for the Kingdom?"

"Tomorrow! It's been almost one whole month since I got acquainted with this here letter, see? The plan is that we're gonna crash at this inn tonight, and get up to catch our boat first thing in the morning. So, you have enough dough on hand to rent out a room?" Popple asked, rolling his eyes as Crump shook his head.

"Sorry boss, I burned all my cash on taking the Excess Express over here, and there was my meals on the train..."

"I'll cover you tonight, okay? But you better hope this here Gentleman Rogue guy's willing to cover your expenses, because I ain't sharing any more of my hard-earned moolah, see?" said Popple as he reached into a sack of money and placed ten coins over in Crump's hand. "Now go and pay up, let the nice lady upstairs you're bunking with me, see?"

"Gotcha, Boss!" Crump said, doing two imaginary gunshots with his fingers, "And with that... POW! I'm out!" Spinning on heel, Crump ran off to the staircase, causing loud thumping sounds as he stomped up... until Popple winced upon hearing the sound of splintering wood and Crump crying out.

"AW GEEZ! Boss, can you help? I'm stuck!" Popple set his glass down and hid his face in his palms as a couple of Pianta sailors rose from their seats to help Crump get free from the stairs.

"I swear to god, this guy had BETTER be worth palling around with, see?!" Popple growled as he downed the rest of his beverage in a few huge gulps. "BARTENDER! Hit me up, and this time give me the whole bottle!"


	2. Chapter 2: A Shocking Turn of Events!

Chapter 2: A Shocking Turn of Events!

"STOP! THIEVES!" the authoritative cry of a city guard hollered as Popple leaped out of a house window, the shattering glass being completely drowned out by the wail of a siren.

"Hey Rookie, we've gotta scram, see?! Where'd you go?" Popple called out as he hoisted his bag of loot over his shoulder and ran as a group of heavily armed Toad soldiers came running after him, spears in hand. "Aw cripes, I'm leaving you behind, Rookie!" Popple called out right when Crump burst through the door of a nearby house, jewels and coins falling incredibly quickly out of his sack and clattering loudly on the ground.

"Sorry I'm late boss!" Crump huffed as he began to catch up with Popple.

"YOU IDIOT! You're going to lose us half the loot, it's falling out!" Popple roared.

"Oops!" Crump said in an obnoxiously cheery tune as he jumped to the side to dodge a thrown spear, only to bump into Popple as they tumbled to the ground with both their bags of treasure spilling all over the street.

"ROOKIE, I SWEAR I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Popple roared, trying his best to grab a couple of jewels as he scrambled back to his feet and continued running for his life from the guards. No use trying to grab the bags now!

"Look boss, I said I was sorry! Come on, we can just do a better job next time!" Crump chuckled as they rounded a corner into an alleyway. They continued to run, but to their confusion, the street seemed to be glowing orange in the moonlight, almost as if the sun relocated underground for the night. It wasn't until Popple got close to the street when he noticed to his horror that for some unexplicable reason, there was a pit dug into the middle of the alleyway... a pit full of lava!

"ROOKIE, STOP!" Popple cried out as he came to a sudden halt. Of course, Crump was as clumsy as usual and wasn't able to fully stop until he accidentally gave Popple a huge shove with his over-sized gut.

"Oops! Sorry about that, boss!" Crump said, waving cheerfully as Popple tumbled down to his doom.

"ROOKIE! NOOOOOOO!" Popple screamed, clawing upward uselessly as he fell deeper and deeper to his excruciatingly hot death, done in by his partner's ineptitude like he feared...

* * *

><p>Popple jerked awake from his nightmare, screaming at the top of his lungs before he noticed that he was safe in bed. Giving a sigh, he went and sank back in the comforting grasp of his hammock...<p>

_'Whoa, hold the phone now, I wasn't sleeping in a hammock!'_ Popple thought to himself in shock. As Popple tried to gain his bearings, he noticed that the room was rocking, a creaking sound could be heard as it was doing so. And from outside, he could hear what sounded almost like... _'Waves?'_

"Good morning, boss!" Crump yelled as he threw the rickety door open, holding a tray stacked with pancakes, fried eggs, and sausages along with a tall glass of orange juice, "I bought you your breakfast all the way from the inn!"

"Rookie? What's going on here? I thought we were at the inn, see?" Popple asked, to which Crump chuckled.

"Well boss, you remember how you told me that we had to get to the boat first thing in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you were all snug in bed, sleeping like a little Beanish baby, and it didn't really feel right to wake you up, so I grabbed you and hauled you onto our method of transportation: the S.S. Marigold!" Crump then took a seat on a nearby stool, which predictably creaked under his weight.

"So... you actually went and placed me on a ship in my sleep, am I getting this right, Rookie?"

"Yep!" Crump replied cheefully.

"And... this IS the S.S. Marigold, the ship that's gonna take us to Half-Moon Harbor, right?

"Yep again! In fact, the captain says we'll reach Half-Moon Harbor sometime tonight!" Crump stated, holding his head in a smug fashion.

"OH! You didn't forget our luggage, did ya? Because if you did, I swear I'm offering you up as shark food, see?!"

"Don't worry boss, it's right there in the corner!" Popple turned his head to the corner at the foot of his hammock and yes indeed: his luggage was right where Crump promised.

"Huh. Well, I gotta hand it to ya Rookie: you got us on this boat in time, you got our luggage, made sure it was the right boat with the right destination and everything... you didn't screw anything up! Whew!" Popple sighed, relieved that everything so far had gone according to plan. Crump may have been a total nitwit, but he at least proved he could be counted on! For now, anyway.

"Buh huh huh huh, yeah! What, did you seriously think I'd somehow get this all wrong? Well think again, buddy, because the great Lord Crump doesn't play around!" Crump boasted.

'Nah, just had a bit of a nightmare where things went as wrong as they could get! I mean it wasn't YOUR fault specifically, things just got kinda screwy, see?" Popple denied, chuckling nervously as he finally acknowledged the wonderful aroma of the inn's breakfast. "Hey, rookie! You wanna know how to make yourself more useful?"

"Oh heck yeah I do, boss!" Crump replied cheerfully.

"How's about you hand me my breakfast? I'm pretty hungry, see?"

"About time you asked! One nice warm breakfast, coming- WHOA!" Crump seemed caught off guard as the ship suddenly shifted again, as he stumbled until he tripped over a loose floorboard and tossed Popple's breakfast into the air. Before he knew it, the Legendary Shadow Thief found himself drenched in an absolutely awful sticky concoction of grease, orange juice, and syrup while the eggs, pancakes, and sausages were scattered around from on his body to the wooden floors.

"ROOKIE!" Popple bellowed as his green face turned a nasty beet red.

"Sorry boss, I'm so sorry! I'll get you clean as fast as I can!" Crump stammered as he got back onto his feet.

"NO! NO! For all I know you'll somehow put me in the hospital, see?! GET OUT OF HERE!" Crump didn't need to be told twice as he scrambled out of the room and above deck. Popple continued to lay in his hammock, stewing in his breakfast. _'Well, I've gotta eat anyway,' _he thought to himself, shrugging as he grabbed a pancake stuck to his shirt and bit into it.

* * *

><p>Crump gave a heavy sigh as he slumped down onto the ship's deck. Having gone below deck to check and see if Popple cooled off hours ago, he could hear snoring coming from his room. <em>'Looks like the boss is gonna sleep through the trip.' <em>Crump thought sadly to himself, knowing that he couldn't do the same because he had always had trouble sleeping out at sea.

"Hey, Captain?"

"Yes, boyo?" the captain, a surly old Hammer Bro decked out in a longcoat and a sailor hat responded.

"When are we gonna get there?"

"For the lova god, I keep tellin' ye that we'll get there late at night! Now you either stop pestering me, or yer gonna be fish food! Understand?!" The captain snapped as he continued on his course.

"Yeah, sure. Sorry." Crump sighed as he turned his gaze out at sea. It wasn't that he didn't like the sea, he loved it! In fact, back before Mario took down the Secret Society of X-Nauts, he spent a good month or so trying to convince Sir Grodus to relocate from the moon to underwater. It's just that when compared to the cold, empty vacuum of space, Crump was always partial to the colorful, beautiful coral reefs and the sheer variety of ocean life that traveled the waters of the world. It's just that on this trip, Crump forgot to pack something he could pass the time with.

_'Crud, I should have taken my crossword puzzle book with me!' _He thought to himself as he slumped back down and whipped out a piece of green chalk he had swiped from a passerby Toad kid when they left Rogueport. Looking to make sure the he was out of the Captain's sight, Crump began to doodle a picture on the wall.

It took him a while, but after thirty minutes, Crump stepped back from his masterpiece, and gave a satisfied sigh as he pocketed his chalk. It was a picture of a large killer robot, firing down on a group of fleeing Toads with Crump himself piloting it. _'Magnus von Grapple 3.0... oh if I only had the material necessary to build you! Trust me, if that stupid red-capped, mustached dude knew what plans I had in mind for you, he'd probably wet his pants! I'll get him back someday, I mean it!_ Crump vowed, before being cut short as the boat rammed into something and came to a sudden halt.

"What the- Captain? What was that?" Crump asked, worried as he could see no traces of land anywhere on the horizon.

"No clue, boyo. After all, there be no reefs nor rocks we should worry about running afoul here! I'll check it out." The Captain responded, removing two large hammers from his shell as he went to check it out. As he went over to the front of the boat, Popple emerged from below deck, giving a stretch as he approached the two of them.

"Hey, what gives? I was taking a nap, see?" Popple snapped, before going dead silent as the boat rocked as something roared underneath the boat. "No. Aw no! Don't tell me you went and ticked off something under the water, see?!"

"Oh trust me boyo, whatever's lurkin' down there is _very _angry at us. Get back!" The captain roared as a large tentacled mass climbed above deck, landing with a heavy thud that caused the boat to shake. It appeared to be an octopus that was just larger than Crump, and seemed to radiate with electric power, it's skin flashing from white to light blue as it's large yellow eyes seemed to pierce the trio's souls.

"That... that ain't electricity that's flowing through big ugly's body, is it?" Popple squeaked, flinching as he remembered being zapped and shocked over and over back when he was running around the Beanbean Kingdom and fighting those red and green brothers. The hot searing pain seemed to flare back as he looked at the beast.

"Yep. That be a Shocktopus, they live over in this region and are _notorious _fer bein' very territorial. An' as we see with this fellow, he's lookin' mighty furious with us."

"Aw no, I hate cephalopods!" Crump whined, "They give me ugly rashes, and fevers, and weird cramps in my legs- WOAH!" Crump was interrupted as the Shocktopus fired off a light-blue jolt of electricity at Crump, who barely dodged it with a high leap.

"We're gonna have to fight the beastie off! Ye boys be ready? When I say go- GWAGH!" The Captain screamed as he was hit straight in the chest with an electric blast that sent him flying backwards until he hit the ground lifelessly, dropping his hammers onto the ground.

"CAPTAIN! Oh no, Captain!" Crump cried out as the enraged cephalopod roared in anger, generating more electricity that started to form at the tips of it's tentacles. Popple gritted his teeth, thinking about all the money they could be missing out on if this thing killed them too.

"ROOKIE! You wanna be a rich man?! Of course you do! On the counta three, we grab Dearly Departed Grandpa's hammers and send Big Ugly to sleep with the fishes, got it?" Popple commanded as Crump started to panic.

"But boss, I never-"

"THREE, TWO, ONE... GRAB 'EM!" Popple cried as the he and Crump dived out of the way with Crump screaming as he did so, barely missing the barrage of electric shots. The both of them scrambled away as the Shocktopus roared and started to slither after them, each one grabbing a hammer as they faced off with the monster.

"Alright ugly, we ain't letting you keep us from our dough, see?! GET READY TO HURT!" Popple screamed while Crump was on the verge of hyperventilating before calming down and readying his hammer.

"Yeah, like the boss said! FOR THE CAPTAIN!" Crump bellowed, the two criminals charging forward as the enraged monster roared and did the same. The Shocktopus tried to wrap a tentacle around Popple's body, but he proved too nimble as he leaped out of the monster's hold and gave it a decently powerful blow to the face for his trouble.

"Hope that hurt, ya ugly lug, you!" Popple cackled as the Shocktopus reared back and roared, pointing a tentacle at Popple as he backed away.

"Uh-oh. Rookie, WATCH OUT!" Popple roared as the Shocktopus once again fired off several rounds of electricity. Yelping in fear, Crump leaped into the air just barely dodging the blasts and gave the Shocktopus a powerful slam that caused it to roll across the deck.

"Whoo!" Crump hollered, throwing his hands victoriously in the air before the Shocktopus got back and up roared again, this charging up it's body with more electricity. Instead of firing lightning bolts however, the creature settled for charging straight at them much to the duo's horror.

"RUN FOR IT!" Popple screamed as he and Crump took off running, managing to stay ahead as the creature slithered closer and closer, it's tentacles moving faster around as it attempted to gain on them.

"Aw crud, he's gaining on us!" Crump cried out as Popple kept running.

"Rookie, don't freak out! Just keep running and maybe we'll tire him out!" Popple said, trying and failing to make Crump feel better about their situation while the Shocktopus was gaining on them even more. Giving a mighty roar, the creature tossed himself into the air with his tentacles and flung himself at the duo. The beast seemed to be spinning like a drill for more power as he was soon wreathed in electricity like a missile sent from Zeus himself.

"GAH! Stay away!" Crump cried out as he stopped in place, reared his hammer back like a baseball bat , and smashed the creature with the force of a home-run slam. With an explosion of electricity, the Shocktopus roared as he was sent flying back to where he emerged, coming dangerously close to slipping off the boat before clinging onto it with his tentacles before hoisting himself back up. Giving another enraged roar, the monster tried to generate more electricity before a buzzing noise could be heard as he began to spark. Realizing what was going on, Popple smiled.

"I think you shorted him out, Rookie! Nice job!" Popple laughed as Crump just stared ahead in amazement.

"I did?... I mean I totally did! HA! That's what happens when you mess with the old Crump-a-bomb, ya tentacled freak!" Crump guffawed, only to squeak in fear as the Shocktopus gave an almighty bellow and settled for charging at the two again.

"Don't freak out rookie, we're NOT gonna die before even getting the loot, see?! Now let's drive him back for good!" Popple yelled as he too ran forward. Crump sat back and watched the two charge forth, each yelling something incomprehensible before leaping at each other for the attack. As Popple swung forth for another powerful blow, he was grabbed by the feet with a tentacle and slammed into the floor, dropping his hammer with the impact.

"BOSS!" Crump yelled out as the Shocktopus continued to slam his body around, Popple's head made an unpleasant "THUNK!" every time it hit something.

"Rookie... do something... agh!" Popple cried out as he was slammed headfirst onto the floor again, the Shocktopus giving what sounded almost like a sinister bubbly chuckle as he did so. While Crump may not have been the brightest bulb in the shed, it didn't take him being a genius to realize that Popple was likely going to fall unconscious or in a worst case scenario, die from blunt-force trauma.

"Oh no, you're not gonna kill him, oh no siree! Not when I'm around! CRUMP-A-BOMB!" Crump bellowed as he charged forward, only to recoil in horror as the Shocktopus started lashing at him with his tentacles, each making an unpleasant whip-like "Swish!" as they swung at thin-air. "On second thought, never mind."

"CRUMP!" Popple screamed, wishing he could strangle the ninny if he could just break free. Glaring at him, the Shocktopus gave a roar as he reared back the tentacle Popple was in and slammed him into the ground again, causing Crump to wince at the incredibly painful sounding thud of Popple's head hitting the deck.

_'There's no way he's surviving another hit like that! Man, I've gotta think fast...' _Crump thought frantically as Popple slapped the Shocktopus in the face as he dangled him close. Giving an upset roar, the monster reared back for one final slam right when Crump played an image in his head showing a Hammer Bro tossing a storm of hammers at a Goomba, who got flattened by every single hit. "OH DUH! Hang in there boss!" Crump cried out as he reared back, and flung his hammer with all his might. This caught Shocktopus by surprise as he came to a complete halt, leaving Popple dangling in mid-air as he watched the soaring hammer come his way. With a solid "CLANG!", he fell over on his back, dropping Popple as his tentacles began to thrash wildly.

"Oh Rookie! I'm gonna- gonna- whee..." Popple mumbled before crashing, obviously dizzy from all the hits he received on his head and from being continuously swung around.

"Don't worry boss, I'll finish him off!" Crump hollered, charging forth as he did another flying tackle at the Shocktopus, his impact knocking the breath out of him as he balled his left hand into a fist as he punched the octopus square in the face. "THAT'S FOR HURTING THE CAPTAIN!" Another punch. "AND THAT'S FOR ALMOST KILLING THE BOSS!" Yet another hit. "AND THAT'S FOR TRYING TO KILL ME!" And another. "And I know you didn't do that, BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO CALAMARI SO YOU'RE GUILTY FOR GIVING ME ALLERGY ATTACKS BY ASSOCIATION!" Crump soon grew tired of walloping on the big, fleshy punching bag as he now grabbed the unresponsive creature by the tentacles and began to swing him around. "Now, pack your bags and say your goodbyes, BECAUSE I'M SENDING YOU OUT OF THE COUNTRY! SAYONARA!" Crump bellowed, flinging the Shocktopus into the distance, waving goodbye as he crashed into the water and sank beneath the surface. "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh! Oh yeah, who's laughing now? Give it up for Looooooord Crump!" Crump bellowed as he began to flex his biceps in a manly fashion.

"ROOKIE! I appreciate the help and all, but there's such thing as overdoing it, see?" Popple groaned as he hobbled on over grasping his aching head. "Ugh... I feel like I've been hit over the head with a sack of bricks... see? But seriously, nice job Rookie!"

"Yep! If it weren't for little ol' me, you'd be Fish food!" Crump boasted as Popple rolled his eyes.

"Look, don't you go acting like you did this all by yourself, I woulda had Big Ugly back there if he didn't get me with that sneak attack, see?" Popple snorted as he turned his head, not wanting to look his savior in the eyes.

'Oh sure, sure..." Crump chuckled, before giving a gasp as his eyes widened. "OH NO, the Captain!" Crump shoved past Popple as he ran back to where the Captain had fallen. Sure enough, he was lying motionless, sprawled out on the ground not moving a muscle. "Captain, wake up! Do you hear me, wake up!" Crump asked desperately as he tried to shake him awake, to no avail.

"Crump, he's an old fart, there's no way he would've survived that monster's attack, see?"

"No! He can't be dead, he can't be!" Crump argued back, much to Popple's chagrin.

"Oh come on, you only knew him for what, a few hours? Why are you so torn up about his death! What we need to do now is focus on steering this thing over to Half-Moon Harbor, now come on!" Popple growled before Crump turned around and glared at him.

"So? He was still a good old man, he didn't deserve to have his life cut short by that thing!" Crump sniffed as he could feel a single tear roll down his face under his goggles and mask.

"Yeah, he probably had a whole month taken off his life before he would have croaked naturally! Now help me out, see?!" Popple snarled, leaving Crump kneeling over the Captain's body.

"Captain... no! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Crump yelled, looking at the sky as he bellowed up into the heavens where the boat captain surely was resting as we speak...

"AGH! Fer god's sake boyo, I ain't dead!" The Captain roared, jerking awake from Crump's skyward scream, causing him to stop and beam at him with joy, "But ye sure are gonna deafen me with those pipes of yers!"

"Captain! Oh Captain, my Captain, you're alive!" Crump cheered as he swept up the elderly sailor in his arms, hugging him tight as he unintentionally began to strangle him.

"UGH! Cut it out, ye big duffer!" He hissed, causing Crump to drop him.

"Sorry."

"Look, I really don't want te have to deal with any more Shocktopi, so how's about we get out of here an' over te ye boy's destination, alright?" The Captain huffed, making his way back to steering the ship.

"You know something boss?" Crump asked as the ship took off again.

"Yeah, Rookie?" Popple replied.

"I think this is the start of an awesome friendship, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh no, don't go saying that, alright? It's a partnership, okay? A partnership, see?!"

"You keep telling yourself that, boss. You keep telling yourself that." Crump chuckled as he leaned back against a few crates, looking out to sea and taking in the beauty as the two partners stood in silence and watched the passing scenery.


End file.
